How to Recognize a Fake Apology

진정한 사과인지 아닌지 알 수 있는데 그 예를 들어 보겠습니다.

1. A fake apology contains an “if” or a “but”.

 I'm sorry if i hurt you. 라고 표현하기 보단 I'm sorry. It's all my fault.라고 표현하세요.

2. A fake apology is too wordy.

당신의 마음에서 오는 사과는 실제로 많은 말이 필요하지 않습니다. 반대로 진정성이 없는 사과는 상황에 대한 그 사람의 진정한 감정을 숨기려는 불필요한 설명을 하기 위해 많은 말로 하게 됩니다.

3. An insincere apology contains passive voice.

The wording “mistakes were made” is often used in public speaking when the speaker admits that something wrong was done, but is actually trying to avoid direct responsibility by choosing to speak in a passive voice.

수동태는 누가 상황에 실제로 책임이 있는지 말하지 않는 반면 능동태는 행동의 주제를 언급합니다 ( "I made the error").

4. A true apology cannot start with, “They told me to apologize.”

When a person uses these words, they are actually saying that apologizing to you is not coming directly from them. This apology is being offered only because someone else thinks this is necessary, and this person would not apologize otherwise.

5. “You know I...”, “I’ve already...” and some other tricky words are what people say when they want to apologize without actually apologizing.

• “You know I...” This wording is actually trying to convince you that there’s nothing to be upset about. (“You know I didn’t mean it.”)

• “I’ve already...” This phrase is saying that there’s nothing more to be said and nothing more to apologize for. (“I’ve already apologized for that many times.”)

• “I’m sorry that you...” What this phrase is doing is shifting the blame on you and making you the source of the problem. (“I’m sorry that you feel that way.”)

• “I guess I...” This only hints at the need to apologize but doesn’t actually offer an apology. (“I guess I should apologize.”)

• And, of course, “I’m sorry, okay!” The expert calls this a “bullying apology” that actually doesn’t sound like an apology neither in its words nor in its tone.

6. A fake apology is not followed by an action.

Whatever the person is saying when trying to apologize, the main thing about a genuine apology is the action behind it. 

진정한 사과는 많은 말이 필요하지 않으며 상대방으로 하여금 진정성이 담긴 말과 태도를 보이면 상대방도 진정한 사과인지 아닌지 알아보게 됩니다.